Have you ever seen that video experiment where people are passing around a basketball? It’s a simple yet effective way to test the power of selective attention. If you haven’t seen it yet, you can do so over here:
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo[/embedyt]
The experiment itself is rather simple. There are 3 players in white and 3 in black and your task is to count the number of passes the white team makes to each other. As a result of these clear instructions, you come out with an ambition, an aim, and a value — to count the number of passes. But then they throw a curveball at you. They ask, “did you see the gorilla?”
And about half us will say “Yes, of course” and the rest will say something like, “What gorilla are you talking about!?”
Whether or not you fall into the former or the latter, it’s a startling discovery that nearly half of us could be so misguided. I mean how could we not see that big massive gorilla just walking through the middle, it seems so obvious?
But here’s the double-edged realization: Our ambitions blind us to reality. And although they might illuminate some of it, they blind you to most of it.
And I refer to it as “double-edged” because there are both pros and cons to being so focused on your aims. On the positive, when you narrow your mind and only see what matters, you can become incredibly devoted, dedicated, and attentive (sometimes referred to as the Frequency Illusion). In the athletic realm, this sort of laser-focus is both powerful and beneficial when it comes to practicing a skill.
However, there are times in our lives when becoming so centred on one thing, or way of living, can actually be what is hurting us most. We can have no idea why things aren’t going the way we want and don’t even realize that it’s the thing we are so attentive to and concerned about that is holding us back.
This is most evident when it comes to our friends and even our teammates. We are often drawn to surround ourselves with people who make us feel better. And the people that typically make us feel better are those who are worse off than us. But the problem with those who are worse off than us is that they are worse off for a reason. Maybe they blame others and don’t take ownership, or perhaps they never give their full effort and don’t hustle for those loose balls because “they’ll get it next time”.
The dilemma and the challenge, however, is that despite these people making you feel better about yourself, they are not making you a better person or athlete. In fact, they are holding you back. But you are so caught up in inflating your own ego and finding people that boost your confidence (and not in a productive way), that you are unwilling to give them up. You are unable to see any other option or way forward. You would rather look strong among the weak, over courageous among the strong — and that is why you fail. That is why many of us fail. We get comfortable with what we know and we shift our attention to anything that makes us feel temporarily”good”. We become blind to the big gorilla and see only what our eyes want to see.
What should I do with this information?
Well first, take stock of your life.
Look around and find the areas in which you are holding onto ideas, mindsets, people, activities, or things that aren’t helping you improve. And don’t get me wrong, I understand that this is an incredibly nuanced task. But it’s worth the effort to sort it out.
It can hard to know what is truly holding back versus what is only slightly slowing you down. And you won’t know if letting go of a friend, a habit, or a job will be the thing that gets you moving in a certain direction.
But what other choice do you have? If you an unsatisfied with your current state you must take action. You must experiment with other ways of living. Otherwise, you risk forever missing out on the big black gorillas surrounding you everywhere you go.
-Derek
