Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?
I did it one time, but I doubt I’ll ever do it again. I was heading home from university and was just about to enter the freeway before I saw a guy politely standing there with his thumb out.
And maybe because it was late and I felt bad, or perhaps it was because I had a momentary lapse in judgement due to my brain being frazzled from a late night study sesh, but I chose to pull the car over and let the guy in.
Now for some of you, that idea seems crazy. You might be sitting there thinking, “How could you be so naive? What if he robbed you?”. Whereas some of you more trusting folks may be applauding me for my compassion.
In the end, I drove the guy about 10 km’s down the highway, had a nice chat about his work, and sent him on his way. Looking back at that event I can’t help but wonder if I got lucky.
Maybe he was hoping for an easier victim and realized the 6″5 dude wasn’t his best choice…
Maybe he was just a nice guy who really did have to work overtime and missed the last bus…
Or maybe this guy was safe, but the next hitchhiker could be a serial killer.
I have yet to pick up another person, so I cannot fully know about that last option.
Judging those who risk
Now, with the idea of picking up hitch-hikers on your mind, let me propose two hypothetical scenarios to you:
- Mr. Brown almost never picks up hitchhikers. Yesterday he gave a man a ride and was robbed.
- Mr. Smith frequently picks up hitchhikers. Yesterday he gave a man a ride and was robbed.
Who of the two will experience greater regret over the episode?
In the book Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, this scenario was proposed to volunteers. Their response was probably quite similar to yours. 88% said Mr. Brown and only 12% said Mr. Smith.
This kind of result is seemingly universal. Whether it’s the stock trader who chooses to sell only to discover he could have made more if he waited or the gambler who hits and loses all her money – people expect to have a stronger emotional reaction (including regret) to an outcome when it is produced by taking action than to the same outcome when it was produced by in-action.
So why does all of this matter?
Well for athletes, it has a lot of unspoken implications.
If you are looking to achieve great things, there is a certain amount of risky behaviour required. In order to improve at a skill, you have to be willing to make mistakes. And if you ever want to be the person to score the game-winning shot, you have to also be willing to miss the game-winning shot.
In other words, you have to be ready to take some action but you also have to be prepared to accept the consequences of that action.
But then again, given what was just illustrated through the hitchhiker scenario, it’s very tempting to stick with our norms. Because if we break out of our norms and “fail”, we risk the feeling of regret.
Now here is where things get interesting. One other part of that hitchhiker study was that a separate group was asked which person would be criticized most severely by others following the event. In this case, 23% said Mr. Brown and 77% for Mr. Smith.
This finding has a number of implications, but there is one I would really like you to consider:
Those who are willing to take risks are expected to fail.
When you take actions that deviate from your norm it can lead to a personal feeling of regret. But honestly, most people won’t blame you for it.
Who they will look to critique and blame is the person that puts themselves out there repeatedly to risk failure.
Take Lebron James for example. This season he chose to sign with the LA Lakers in the hopes of building it back into the dynasty that it’s known for being. So far, it’s not looking great and for the first time in his career, James won’t make the NBA playoffs.
As per usual the Lebron critics, haters, and doubters are coming out of hiding and are foaming at the mouth. They just love to see the guy fail.
But why? The man just as easily could have signed with a stacked team. But instead, he chose the challenge.
“If you take no risks, you will suffer no defeats. But if you take no risks, you win no victories.”
– Richard M. Nixon
You’re screwed no matter what (so take some risks)
This is the great conundrum of being outspoken, confident, and ambitious. You’ll be criticized when fail but praised when you succeed.
Nobody bats an eye at the person who picks up hitchhikers every day until the day they get robbed.
And here is where the internal battle comes up for you. It will be so tempting to play it safe. It’s going to feel like the best choice is to just stick with your norm and simply “show up” each day.
This path will be tempting because it’s comfortable. It will feel easy because you won’t ever really be challenged. In fact, other people will be very unlikely to blame you when you have failures because they can relate and know that you just got a little unlucky.
However, what most people won’t tell you is that this path leads to a worse fate. This path leads you to the kind of regret that you can’t come back from. This path leads to the failure of achieving anything meaningful. And when the dust has settled, and your opportunity has passed you by, all you will be able to do is sulk in your sadness wishing you could have done things differently.
This is why some risks are worth taking.
Because when you choose the other path, you embrace obstacles, you run towards fear, and you risk making a fool of yourself. But then you get better. Then you start to get more opportunities. You get more chances to take game-winning shots. And you get to build the legacy you will be proud to look back on.
So, if you have ever been looking for a sign to start taking some risks – this is it!
You don’t need my permission or anyone else’s for that matter. At the end of the day, we can blame the nice guy who picks up hitchhikers and say he’s foolish for being so trusting, compassionate, and kind but then we would only be blaming someone who possesses qualities we genuinely admire.
“There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long-range risks of comfortable inaction.”
– John F. Kennedy
Set a goal today that you know you could fail to achieve. When you see Risk and Discomfort sitting on the highway with their thumbs out, don’t pass them by. Pull the car over, open the door, and tell them to come along for the ride. You’ll be surprised just how far they’ll take you.
-Derek
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