Last week while playing against the Milwaukee Bucks, Kevin Durant of the Golden State Warriors lost all control. After receiving his first technical foul for vulgarity towards the referee. He had another drive to the hoop in which he thought he was fouled once again but this time decided to get right in the face of the ref who missed the call.  This resulted in his second technical and an automatic ejection from the game. That ejection marked Durant’s 14th technical of the season and his 5th ejection.

Here’s the play below. What do you think? Was Durant’s response warranted?

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyLbjkBBD50[/embedyt]

To say that Durant is on a bit of an emotional roller coaster this season, would be a bit of an understatement. And what I want to focus on today is not about the ejections themselves or the state of the NBA refereeing, instead, I want to talk about what he said to the press following the incident.

Here is his full statement. Let’s see if you can read through it and figure out where this article is going.

“It’s just a part of the evolution that I’m going through,” Durant told ESPN. “I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not perfect. I don’t have all the answers. It will probably take the offseason for me to assess, ‘OK, let’s figure out how to tone this down a little.’ But I’m comfortable sharing this because all I care about is that,” he said as he pointed to the practice court.

 

“I love this game, and I’m going to do whatever I can to help my team get back to where we were last year. That’s what I’m excited for. That’s why you’re seeing this passion from me. Before, I used to care about the game and the lifestyle. Now, all I care about is my love for the game, the pureness of the game. This is me.”

 

“It’s just my emotions and passion for the game,” Durant said after Friday’s practice session. “After winning that championship (last season), I learned that much hadn’t changed. I thought it would fill a certain [void]. It didn’t. That’s when I realized in the offseason that the only thing that matters is this game and how much work you put into it. Everything else off the court, social media, perception, isn’t important. What people say, how they view you, it’s not important.

Did you catch that?

Kevin Durant, one of the best basketball players in the world, the guy who was willing to do whatever it took to win a championship (even if it meant joining forces with one of the best teams in the league) – just admitted that winning an NBA title could not fill his void. He was still “empty” in some way.

And I want to highlight this more than anything else that is going on. I don’t want to focus on Durant’s personal choices or how he is acting on the court. I’ve never spoken with him and I know very little about his personal life, so who am I to judge.

Forever Chasing the Future

So often we imagine that our lives will be better “one day”. We imagine futures where everything falls perfectly into place and we are finally happy. But as I’ve noted in previous articles, this just doesn’t happen. We don’t just magically achieve a state of permanent happiness. In fact, for a lot of lottery winners – whom you would expect to be the happiest people in the world – it’s actually quite the opposite. And it has a lot to do with something called Hedonic Adaptation.

This is a theory which suggests that humans have a tendency to quickly return to a stable level of happiness despite both major positive and negative experiences. Events such as winning the lottery or losing a limb in a car accident may seem like life events that would drastically affect our well being. But in the end, we always return to the mean.

So, what are you trying to say, Derek, that athletes shouldn’t want to win championships? We should all just be okay with being content with where we are?

No, no, and no! That is not what I’m saying. What I am trying to say is really simple, so I will try to make this clear.

Success can be achieved on a daily basis but you have to set the right metrics for what “success” looks like. It’s important to have long-term goals and lofty ambitions, I am by no means telling you this stuff does not matter.

However, if all you ever think about is how you will only feel successful, happy, or fulfilled once you win a championship, I can promise you that you will forever be chasing something that does not yet exist. Because even if you do win, that feeling only lasts for a moment and then it’s over. The pursuit, on the other hand, is never-ending.

And this is something that even most relentless basketball players understood. Kobe and Jordan were both in this category. They wanted to win championships more than anyone else in the world. But more importantly, they understood that the only way to do that was to treat every little thing they did as if winning it would push them one step closer towards their ultimate goal. They saw anything as a competition (to the point that you couldn’t even play a casual game of pool without bringing Michael Jordan’s inner fire). Would I recommend going that far? Probably not, but it still serves as a lesson. Everything you do matters.

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” – Michael Jordan

The Better Approach

I don’t want to claim to have all the answers or say that I have everything figured out. There is no perfect approach to all of this. But here are what I believe to be 5 important rules/steps/mindsets that will lead to you getting what you want as an athlete, without getting caught up in the wrong stuff:

1. Get in love with the process, not the result
2. Learn to appreciate the fundamentals
3. Don’t chase happiness, aim for growth
4. Measure your small incremental improvements
5. Shift your focus towards what can be done today

You know, I really hope that Kevin Durant can find his way. I don’t know the guy, but it makes me sad to think that he had to learn the hard way that winning doesn’t fix everything. That it does not fill the void. Yet, at the same time, I am glad that someone like him who has a voice on the world stage is reminding the next generation of athletes that the end result is not the only thing that matters. There is something else. Something that is bigger.

What is it? Well, it looks different for every person. And it goes by many different names. Some call it the grind, other might say it’s the process, the work, the hustle or the pursuit. Whatever name you give it, it doesn’t really change what it is.

But if you want to discover what it looks like for you, start by focusing on everything you do today. Get to work. Grind.

-Derek