I was 8 years old when I saw it, and once seen, I knew I had to have it. I couldn’t keep my mind off it, often losing sleep in the process.
The Toy Pirate Ship.
Once I had it, I would be complete. Sure enough, after several months of pining (which I am sure felt much longer for my folks), they surprised me one Saturday afternoon on my birthday with the Toy Pirate Ship. I was over the moon! It was exactly what I needed to transform my small Southern Alberta room into the ultimate destination to let my imagination run wild. The possibilities of play were endless; I felt complete.
For a week. Then it was on to the next big thing.
This was an important lesson for me: fulfilling a desire, however strong that desire is, will not in itself satisfy in the long term. Indeed, preoccupation with the “thing” that should make my life complete can, in itself, create a void; the big thing can distract from smaller, more important things. And it’s a lesson I keep (re)learning.
You see, even now when my mind gets transfixed on something (either a want or need), I have difficulty letting it go. It is the problem of immediacy. Immediacy is the desire for instant involvement and the accompanying sense of rising urgency or excitement; the pursuit of instant gratification; the pursuit of fulfillment without delay. Immediacy is that feeling that you want IT (whatever IT is), and you want IT now.
Now don’t get me wrong, immediacy can be just as much of a strength as it is a weakness. Without ambition or drive for success and to earn something, we wouldn’t make it very far as athletes. That desire to achieve, to earn, and to win, is what propels athlete’s forward day after day, month after month, season after season. The problem of immediacy is not the desire itself, but rather a preoccupation that assumes achievement will bring instant and complete satisfaction. It’s pining after success without the willingness to put in the work to get there.
To succeed as an elite athlete requires an insatiable hunger. However, when we are so used to immediate gratification, it is easy to lose sight of the big picture when gratification takes its time. It is easy to stop working hard and sticking to our disciplines – which in turn can send one in into a mental spiral. Speaking from personal experience, that spiral can be dark, and difficult to get out of. The problem of immediacy then, is that it can lead to problems without immediate solutions.
Questioning Immediacy
Is the problem of immediacy unique to my generation? How much does technology, particularly social media, contribute? We have instant access to any information we want, at any time, in almost any place. We want it, we want it now – and we get it now. And we no longer are willing to, or even know how to play the long game. Not to mention that social media doesn’t tell us the full story; social media will not tell you the full story of me. Only I can. But maybe picking up the phone, or driving over to someone’s house for a face to face visit seems like too much work. However, like sport, relationship and community require effort and intentionality.
To be clear, my criticism of immediacy is not a cultural critique, or admonishment of the human condition. Rather, the problem with immediacy is one reflected in my own mirror. My Toy Pirate Ship still exists – as an often-overwhelming focus on fulfillment, accomplishment, and a sense that my current happiness hinges upon the achievement-du-jour. Once my mind is stuck, it’s hard to let it rest until I have arrived at the solution or destination. I am trapped when my mindset becomes:
- “I will not be happy until I arrive”
- “I will not be happy until I make the team”
- “I will not be happy until I master this skill”
- “I will not be happy until I recover from this injury”
- “I will not be happy until I win the championship”
- “I will not be happy until I have my Toy Pirate Ship”
Once I accomplish this thing or that, then I will be complete. For a week. Then it’s onto the next thing.
Alfred Souza put it this way: “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last, it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life”.
Choose Joy
During my time playing university ball at Trinity Western, my coach had a saying: Choose Joy. The obstacles we face and hurdles we have to get past; they will keep coming. But it is our choice as to how we will deal with them. Will I choose joy daily, or will I allow my happiness to hinge on the completion of a task, an obstacle surpassed, or a Toy Pirate Ship in my hand at last?
What makes elite athletes elite is that pursuit of excellence; to stand at the base of the mountain and with one foot after the other, make the climb – rather than the gondola, or not even trying at all. Those who pursue excellence can move mountains with the mind, and rather than succumbing to the short game, they play the long game, and learn to enjoy the journey every step of the way.
So, what is the antidote to the problem of immediacy? My advice is this: Take time to reflect.
Refection helps the journey. It helps us to appreciate the long game and all the challenges and hard work that come with it. For me, not taking the time to slow down and reflect often leads me to impatience, which leads to expectations of immediacy. By slowing down and stepping back, I ground myself with thought or written words, changing my mental posture to that of an Attitude of Gratitude. Reflection can help you to align priorities, to see each day as an opportunity to learn, grow, and to see your progress towards your own Toy Pirate Ship.
And that, friends, is what the Daily Athlete is all about.
-Mike
Finding the joy!